Pieces of Advice for Your 20s — From People Actually in Their 20s

Your 20s are a fever dream of bad dates, random jobs, and emotional breakthroughs you didn’t see coming — but that’s kind of the point.

It’s your 20s. You’re learning how to do life — how to cook more than pasta, how to love without losing yourself, how to say no without guilt. Everyone tells you these are “the best years of your life,” but they forget to mention that they’re also the most confusing, chaotic, and wildly transformative.

One minute you’re crying over your taxes, the next you’re booking a spontaneous trip with money you don’t really have.

So, here’s what we — the ones still very much in the trenches — have figured out so far. Not the polished, hindsight version of adulthood. The real-time advice from people still paying for therapy and $8 cold brew in the same week.

Advice from 20-somethings

1. “Learned this one the hard way — if you date from a place of loneliness, you will always end up with the wrong person. You have to be ok in your own company. “I don’t mean the cliche, ‘you have to love yourself first.’ But if you’re content in your own company, you’ll stop dating losers just to avoid being alone.” – Sophia, 25

2. “Romantize life. Make the mundane magical. Find joy in the simplest things.” – Olivia, 25

3. “Allow yourself to be happy. It is not selfish to follow your own happiness.” – Bella, 21

4. “Don’t compare your timeline to anyone else! Go at your own pace and trust yourself.” – Lauren, 25

5. “If you can, travel as much as possible, see as much as you can, and experience new things!” – Jenna, 25

6. “Comparison is the thief of joy.” – Kelly, 25

7. “Don’t settle if you are unhappy. There is always a better job and a better man out there.” – Cara, 25

8. “Don’t be afraid to communicate with partaking in sexual activity.” – Sierra, 25

9. “Your time is money. Invest in good quality people!” – Melissa, 25

10. “Vitamins are worth taking.” – Madeline, 24

11. “Protect your peace, try a fuck it mindset. Don’t spend time on friendships and relationships that drain you and don’t fill your bucket. The person you’re dating should be adding to your life, not dulling your sparkle. Take more time off from work, and do what makes you happy.

“Being depressed is okay, and struggling with your mental health gets more manageable as you grow up. Everything in your 20s is how it’s supposed to be, struggling, worrying about the future and money, but it’ll all make sense hopefully by your 30s. It’s okay not to be getting married and having kids in your 20s. You are right on time for your own life; you’re not late to life. Everyone is on their own timeline.” – Ally, 25

12. “Do the work to understand yourself and your emotions. 30s+ always wish they did it sooner.” – Erin, 25

13. “Reflect on the most recent years of your life and pay close attention to what brought you the most happiness. What colors move you? Do you like music, the sounds of nature? Do you enjoy showering more in the morning or at night? What people leave you feeling restored and fulfilled? Take an active effort to understand yourself and fill your cup with those billion tiny things that bring you joy. The little things matter, and they add up! If you develop a simple habit of treating yourself in this way, you’ll cultivate an environment that is so fruitful and a sense of self that is so strong.

“Piggybacking on that, prioritizing a sense of self. I genuinely live my life by the Serenity Prayer: ‘Accept the things you cannot change. Have courage to change the things you can. Have the wisdom to know the difference 

“Never place your emotional well-being in an external factor. example, the actions of a partner, a parent, or a friend. You cannot control them, and you cannot expect them to act any sort of way. You can possess a strong sense of morals, you can have expectations and boundaries with people, but always remember that you are not in control of that person. 

“Of course, lead by example. understand the power you wield over your own life and optimize it. do unto others as you’d have them do unto you vibes. Only emotionally investing in things you can control pushes you to have a strong and positive relationship with yourself, continue showing up for yourself, understanding shortcomings, offering yourself forgiveness and acceptance, and just a general sense of loving yourself. You come to understand that you’re the only entity that you can rely on.

“If you’re able to, prove to yourself that you can exist independently. ultimately, this demonstrates that you’re not forming relationships to fill a hole or void in your life. You’re full and complete on your own, and everything around you is just icing on the beautiful lifecake.

“Making an active, genuine effort to know yourself and love yourself will give you an incredible resource and built-in support system to get you through life’s toughest challenges, and bring you the most happiness.” – Kalote, 27

14. “It’s never too late, you’re not behind in life, you will figure it out, just be patient because adulting is a learning process.” – Tiffany, 27

15. “Most people in their 20s don’t have it all figured out or really any of it. You’re still learning and growing, and that’s an amazing thing. Be happy you don’t have it all figured out-life would be pretty boring!

“Unless you’re inheriting generational wealth, most people in their 20s do not have an immense amount of savings or any savings at all, and that’s normal. And don’t be afraid to take a risk, whether that’s in a new job, moving to a new city, going to an event alone, etc. A risk can turn into something that becomes a more permanent part of your life (or it doesn’t, and that’s okay too!)” – Nikki, 25

16. “We were only kids a minute ago? Don’t race through being in your 20s or be so hard on yourself because you think you should be doing all these different things or accomplishing great heights. We’re all just trying to figure out the transition, and we all do it at our own pace, our own ways.” – Sean, 25

This advice is coming straight from the source — women figuring it out right alongside you. Hopefully, some of it made you feel a little more seen or at least a little less alone.

Welcome to our new column at The Girly Pop Register that is strictly for the girls. Indulge in all life has to offer here.